why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
