well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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