my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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