Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
