i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
