God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
