therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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