I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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