Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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