I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
