dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
