It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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