what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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