where does the pee come out of this thing
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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