clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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