is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
