Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
