I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
