I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
