I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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