Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
