ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
