Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
