i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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