C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
