I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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