I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
