i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I need to stop coming to work sober
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
