You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
