I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
