I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
