birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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