You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
