The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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