My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Randomize
