She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
