Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Someone came in the potted fern
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
