I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
