You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Watching her eat just hurts me
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
50% drunk capacity currently
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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