My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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