We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
How does one acquire holy water?
Sext me about skeletons
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
