i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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