I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
it was like eating out sand paper
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
