Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
