hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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