Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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