Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
