Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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