Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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