yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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