TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
